by Ron Kilber rpknet@aztec.asu.edu
Outing Report, March, 1993
After a climber's breakfast at the Tempe Village Inn (about noon and about $25), Gravel and I head west on I-10 to Joshua Tree National Park in California. We planned the trip weeks earlier, she offering to drive if I would pay for the gas. Not wanting to pass-up a reasonable deal, I quickly agreed. Only trouble is, I should have wondered about what kind of car she had first, because when I finally find out what she is driving, I wish I hadn't been so quick to agree to buy all the gas.
I don't know when this car was made, but it's one of those years when Buick made really big road hogs. This vehicle is so huge, you can use it for bouldering. And you'll need a spotter too. But boy does this car run smoothly. We have the cruise control set on 90, and before we finish planning a week of climbing using the J Tree guide book, it is time to exit the I-10 freeway in California and get on the road going into Joshua Tree National park.
We arrive at the Indian Coves Camp Ground just in time to set up Gravel's tent before it gets too dark. Not many people are in the park. They probably all just went home yesterday, as this is a Monday.
Several hours into the night, it is so pitch dark here that we can see every single star in the sky. Out here where city lights can't dilute the darkness, we realize just how bright the stars really are. This reminds me of my trip to the Amazon Jungle last December, where I had the feeling while starring at the night sky, that most certainly we on earth are not alone in this vast universe. There probably are millions of life-sustaining planets like ours. Who's to say ours is the only one?
About two in the morning, I'm awaken because there is a whole pack of coyotes singing within a half mile of our tent. I must admit, I would feel a lot more secure if I had my shotgun with me. As it is, I have to settle for what Gravel says, "We're not on their menu."
Well, maybe we're not on their menu THIS year because of the overpopulation of rabbits and rodents, however, I'll bet real money a pack of coyotes will attack any human when their regular food supply is Spartan and they are hungry. This comment reminds me of an animal trainer who will go into a cage with a lion-- only after first feeding it.
When I hear all that howling from the coyotes, so close to us, I'm not sure they are hungry, or just what. So I retrieve Gravels steering wheel lock from the car and place it beside my sleeping bag, just in case. What coyote would be so foolish to go up against anyone with ten pounds of case-hardened steel in his hand?
This thought comforts me, and the long day wore me out pretty good, so in spite of the noisy coyotes, I have no problem going back to sleep.
About an hour later, we are awaken again. This time it is not a pack of coyotes, but a pack of animals from the city. We are pretty sure they must be from LA, although from the sounds of them, they could have just busted out of prison somewhere. They arrive in the middle of the night and decide to camp right next to our campsite. Never mind that there are tons of vacant sites elsewhere. They probably drank beer along the way from LA. They are pretty loud and drunk and have a ghetto blaster--turned all the way up, of course. Not knowing what we are up against (one of them could be a freeway shooter), we just try to ignore them. Eventually, they climb into their tent (I don't know how they managed to set it up) and all is quiet again.
I'm really starting to hate people who invade my space, time, and peace of mind. Imagine coming all that way out here to escape civilization, and then having to put up with something that you don't even experience at home.
It is way late in the morning as I am topping out a climb just over our campsite when I hear the rap music. I look and can tell the noise (not music) is coming from the animals who checked-in during the middle of the night skunk drunk. The dumb shits finally manage to get up, and then their first impulse is to turn on the ghetto blaster.
The day has really been tranquil and enjoyable so far. Now we must put up with these bastards. Gravel and I didn't travel 350 miles to listen to this crap; we came here to climb. And my frame of mind right now can not tolerate their music.
When I finish the climb, I rappel to the ground, unclip, walk towards the noisy camp. To my amazement, as I come within conversation range of the three animals, one of them reaches over and turns the ghetto blaster off. All three look curiously towards me as I approach, dumbly wondering why I am coming to see them. Their timidness catches me by surprise, so now I don't want to use my #4 cam anymore to leave an impression on each of their foreheads. They are just three dumb teenagers, totally oblivious to the fact that they might actually be disturbing someone.
They probably use this technique at home to attract girls and get dates, so why not at J Tree too? They apologize and even thank me for letting them know that the music was too loud (maybe they think I'm the freeway shooter). We never hear a peep from these guys again. Actually, I think they are too hung over anyway.
Gravel and I have a very productive week of climbing, never having to venture from Indian Coves to find plenty of good routes. Our last day though is not without more human excitement. We are determined not to go home until we bag "Right-V-Crack" (5-10c). We had been unable to get on it throughout the week because someone always got to it before we did. So bright and early on our last day, I mean before the sun even comes up, I scramble up the backside of the climb, and rig a top-rope configuration over "Right-V-Crack". When I finish, I pause to savor the sun which is just coming up. I can see a park ranger driving towards the east perimeter of the park. Then I rappel from the climb and walk the 50 yards to our campsite to get Gravel.
While Gravel is gathering her gear, a pickup truck with two climbers arrives and parks in front of the climb which I just set up. We actually felt their loud boom box before we could see them. They must have awakened everyone in their path as they drive through Indian Coves to get here. As far as they are concerned, they are the center of the universe.
Without hesitation, the driver scrambles up the back side of "Right-V-Crack". He reappears, and too my amazement, starts to dismantle my anchor which I just finished rigging. I run to the base of the climb, yelling to him that we are about to get on the climb. Then, his female partner challenges our right to the climb arguing that since we are not actually climbing yet, they should be able to use it. When I argue that unless they can finish the climb in five minutes, she increases the volume in her New York voice. Knowing you can't win an argument with an asshole, I ignore her and direct my protestations to her partner on top, who by now is having his doubts about what he is doing. He stops dismantling my anchor, and now his strategy is to talk me into letting them climb first.
At this point I might yield, however, his bitchy girlfriend is unrelenting with here rude behavior and rotten attitude. While he uses diplomacy, she sabotages his efforts and just keeps right blasting me with both barrels.
"Absolutely NOT, you can have it after we finish", I respond.
He realizes that if his stupid girlfriend would just shut-up, I would probably let them have the climb. So he starts yelling at her to shut-up. She doesn't, and then they argue back and forth about what to do.
It isn't long before the ranger I saw earlier shows up. He senses right away something is cooking here. Gravel and I explain our position first, then they get to explain theirs. Only in their argument they accuse us of having set-up the climb the night before so we could hog it first thing this morning. They are so phoney, especially the bitch, who has now invoked a new personality and demeanor. She actually says good morning to the ranger, as if her politeness might actually win some favoritism. The ranger does not respond in kind to her obsequious posture. Instead, he asks them if the climb was already rigged when they arrived.
Lucky for us, the ranger doesn't like assholes anymore than we did. They will not answer the ranger's question directly, electing to instead argue since no one was actually on the climb when they arrived, they should be able to climb first. Three times the ranger asks the same question. I just watch and kept my mouth shut because I can see that these idiots have already hung themselves. When they finally concede, the ranger then politely asks them to remove their gear until after we are finished with the climb.
Our victory makes me feel like I want to let them have the climb anyway now, however, they are poor losers, so I drop the idea.
While Gravel and I climb Right-V-Crack, the ranger hangs around a little while talking with the couple he just ordered off our climb. Actually, he is more like chastising them. I hear him say, "I really gotta hand it too you guys, nobody would be dumb enough to leave gear out here overnight. Besides, I saw him rigging the climb when I drove by earlier. There are over 4,000 routes around here, how come you guys don't just go somewhere else and climb?".
Anyway, the ranger must of had quite an impact on them. They said they were going to catch a few quick climbs and then be right back. We were on or near "Right-V-Crack" all day, but they never did show again.
Ron Kilber rpknet@aztec.asu.edu